I grade them on an extreme curve (and as a consequence they never get more than 3 stars from me). Now, I understand that this is a romance novel, and I've said it before: I expect romance novels to be silly and sexist. I thought this was a cop-out and too easy.Īlso, this book is ridiculous. Then, voila - a human/vampire/demon/Formorian mix that allows the hero to stay 'hot' but instantly become a badass who flies, drinks blood, can see in the dark, and whose eyes glow red when angry.

Have him fight off some vampires, demons and Formorians, but make sure he's wounded and bitten by them. Remember in my previous review when I said that Showalter's Atlantis is populated by nymphs, vampires, weredragons, and Formorians? How do you think you can write a romantic hero who is supposed to be tough and able to protect the heroine if he's a wimpy human? That's right. Why on earth am I talking about a vampire 'hero' if this is allegedly about a human government agent falling in love with the magical Jewel of Atlantis? Well. Are we supposed to believe he's now had 'sex' or 'blood-sex' or 'feeding-sex' or whatever with the demon he killed? Or somehow blood-feeding is only sexual if he does it with a woman? Or only a human woman? Or only if it's a woman he's interested or what? I'm really confused here. Also, this is a way of Showalter giving her womanizing hero a form of virginity that only the heroine is allowed to 'deflower.' In the last book, she made the hero into someone who'd never 'allowed' a lover to give him a blowjob, so that he could get his first one from the heroine - and here she's doing the same with blood-drinking.Įxcept not really, because Gray feeds on a demon, attacking him, draining him dry, and killing him. Perhaps it would link them, far stronger than they were already linked.

She'd never been bitten before, but she wanted to share a deeper part of herself with Gray, wanted to be the first and only woman he drank from. Instead, it makes her feel special and cherished. Then, Showalter tries to tell us that Jewel isn't afraid or disgusted by Gray wanting to drink her blood. She felt his teeth elongating, readying for insertion. Or, if you're not a Buffy fan, it goes: unsheathing your fangs = getting an erection. Both the 'donor' and the 'recipient' are just asking for sickness. It's not ingested easily or well.Ĥ.) Also, opening your veins to someone's wet, filthy, bacteria-infested mouth is a great way to spread disease. Even people who enjoy the taste of blood can only handle a lick or two. How blood feels in your stomach = nauseating. Your blood gushing out into someone's mouth = yuck. Someone taking their razor-sharp teeth and plunging them into your carotid artery = yuck.

Pain during sex is not appealing (to me). This is not sexy.Ģ.) I don't want to hurt my lover, and I don't want to be hurt by my lover. WHY VAMPIRES SUCK AS ROMANTIC LEADS BY CARMENġ.) They're cold.

Jewel of atlantis by gena showalter